Tilted World Now Upside Down

First of all everyone should know that when my epilepsy began in the eighth grade I wasn't exactly in a healthy frame of mind. The previous year was what I would refer to and still do as the worst year of my life. Sure worse things have happened to me since then, but I didn't have the faith then that I have now. In that year before I was bullied by three girls who first pretended to be my friend and then turned the entire seventh grade against me. Their were people I never really knew that found reasons to hate me that year. Even once trusted friends from the past turned their backs on me. By the end of that school year I was severely depressed and had contemplated suicide more than once,  but the thought of the pain my parents would go through if I went through with it kept me from actually following through. So I became very angry. Angry at God, angry at my peers, angry at the church. If there was something I could be angry at I was. A lot of this anger came out through writing very horrific stories and poems. I wrote down horrible violent acts that I wanted to do, but knew was wrong so I didn't. The summer was a saving grace and helped me regain some mental stability, but my faith in God was non-existent. I had already begun to build walls to keep people out. In fact I still have those walls and struggle with the task of tearing them down. Only my husband has managed to break through them unscathed. It's sad to admit that their even walls that I won't let my own family past. That one bad year landed me with a big old pile of trust issues.
So when eighth grade year came around I managed to make a core group of friends. I kept them all at a distance of course. One of these friends was a bridesmaid in my Wedding Lindsey. Another was Darci another friend that has come to mean a lot to me even though we don't get to talk or see each other much because of distance. The others were there for a time and helped show me not all people are evil and some people can be trusted. It was one of those girls that was with me when the trouble really began. I'll refer to her as Alice. Her name is changed because I'm no longer in contact with this person and don't know how she would feel being mentioned in my blog. 
It was in the morning and Alice was waiting for her mother to come pick her up. She had just spent the night. Since we were to tired to really do anything we decided on watching TV. We settled on a movie with Denzel Washington. I remember watching a scene with a rooftop and a helicopter and then all of a sudden I'm on the floor. Paramedics are crowded around me trying to see if I'm okay. My parents are in the room somewhere I can hear there voices. My friend Alice is nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden if felt like someone decided to have fun with me and pushed a button you are not supposed to push. Once pushed all emotions a person can possibly feel flooded to the service. I began to cry hysterically, while laughing and being really angry that paramedics where hovering over me bombarding me with questions that frankly I was to darn tired to answer. Where was my bed!
What was with the little guy in my brain banging my head with a sledge hammer because it hurt. For once I felt willing to take some pain killers. Next thing I knew I was being whisked away to the hospital.
The hospital visit I don't really remember. All I do know is they took my blood and made us wait for the results. I slept the whole time on a very uncomfortable bed. Eventually we got to go home where I slept more. Apparently the doctor's told my mom I needed to see a neurologist. Which will be talked about in my next post.