When I intereviewed for the job I had been seizure free for almost year so I didn't mention my eplipsey. Besides according to state law I didn't have to mention it and if the employer were to ask questions about my health it would've been illegal. One thing I did do was research on if I had to say anything about my eplipsey before I applied anywhere.
On my first day I wore a med. bracelet and that is when they found out. This was in the days my parents were determined to get me to wear a med bracelet or necklace. I've always found the things hideous and hated wearing them. I had a tendency to play with them till they broke and after they broke I always hoped they wouldn't be replaced. I didn't like advertising I had a health problem on a piece of jewlery. So the braclet I wore that day was my fifth or sixth one and this one had lasted longer than others because it had a stretch band making it much harder to break. Which meant about 50 percent of the time I "forgot" to put it on or I took it off when my parents weren't around.
In this case I forgot I was wearing it and a manager asked me about it. I told them what it was for and after I told them it wasn't a big deal. That it had been a long time since anything happened they seemed fine and we proceeded.
The job was simple enough. I was working in the non foods department. Which meant I stocked items in the store that weren't considered food. Like the shampoo aisle, pharmacy, or light bulbs. The few things we stocked that were for eating was the candy and baby food.
When I first started I worked at Ticketmaster and only stocked if they really needed my help. After maybe a year Ticketmaster became part of customer service and I was stocking all the time. I had seizures after being hired within my first year or so but they weren't at the store. So it wasn't a big deal.
I did eventually have one at the store and of course they were required to call 911. They also called my parents. They handled the situation beautifully and I went home early that day and crashed.
When I went back to work no one really made a big deal. Which made me happy. I did give them a letter eventually telling about my condition and what to do. They needed it for my file. After that everything was fine. My first couple years were fine. The work wasn't exciting, but it was work. I made a fair amount of friends and recieved good scores at employee review time.
A few years down the line all the managers I started out with had either transferred elsewhere or been promoted. Their had been a number throughout the years but they were usually really good about respecting department heads and how they schedule and manage their employees. None of them really had a problem with my eplipsey. Not even when I had to miss several months of work because I was so toxic on medication it was a challenge just to stand. My neurologist actually wrote them a letter explaining everything. Basically saying we were having trouble finding the right mixture of medication and to please be patient. That at the moment I wasn't able to work but would return when things became more stable.
Eventually a batch of managers came in that weren't as tolerant about health issues and had plans to change everything. The worst thing was they didn't respect each other's areas. They were constantly going to departments they weren't in charge of and knew nothing about and telling us do something the wrong way only to have the department head have us tear everything down when finished and do it right. The rate of how fast we worked decreased becasue everyone was confused. One person would tell someone to do something and another would tell them to do something that contradicted the other thing. It was like they weren't on the same page and more concerned about marking territory.
Eventually I had a very small partial seizure at the store. I was concious , shaking , and lost control of my emotions. They handled everything fine, but when I returned things changed.
There was a steep decrease in my hours. Such a big decrease that I lost health coverage for a few months.
Then everyonce in a while they would give me over thirty hours. So I could work anything from 4 hrs a week to 30 hrs a week.
On top of that if there were three managers in the store they all would give me conflicting jobs to do. They would have me do it drastically different from anyone else in the store. I was told to do things in a way that would take 3 times as long as the other way.
It wasn't a surprise that my performance went down. I was so busy trying to figure what I was supposed to do I usually didn't get much done. Then on a few occasions when I would be working in close proximity to a manger they would say things like "Are you sure you should have a job? Won't that make your health worse?"
I began to go home and try and list five reasons to keep working at Kroger. I was becoming miserable and depressed. Not to mention stressed from trying to force happiness at work while I was actually just doing my best not to look angry. I began to have horrible nightmares every night and I felt like I was stuck in hell. That somehow hell had been brought to me for some reason and I couldn't fathom why.
I wanted out but was told that I couldn't quit because I had health insurance through kroger and it would be stupid to quit.
Everytime I had a seizure or my meds weren't quite right they would drop hours or tell me to do something wrong. The head of my department figured out was going on and eventually told me to just do things the way she said and only worry about what she said. So I would do what she said and do what the managers wanted when they were around. I felt like I had to be two people at work.
Eventually though I just couldn't handle the hell of work and my eplipsey at the same time. It was to much. Even with help from God it was to much. I finally decided to go to Cleveland Clinic to see if I was eligable for surgery. (more on that in another post)
When I finished Cleveland Clinic I became stable. The problem was I was miserable at work. I had been unable to find a job with my degree because of lack of experience. Not to mention that kind of work was just to boring for me. I wanted to do something I would enjoy.
Eventually everything came down to one night. By this time I had recently met my future husband Anthony on line. Things seemed to be going well. Things were starting to look up. The problem was there was just one thing I hated in my life and I didn't see a way out.
A way out was offered to me. I went to work one day and began my shift. The assistant head department gave me a list of things to do and asked me to work overtime at the same time. I said okay to the list of things, but no to overtime because I had an obligation after work. I didn't say it in a way that was clear and didn't realize I wasn't clear. So I clocked out at the scheduled time. Twenty minutes later I received a phone call from Kroger. They told me I had to finish the overtime or it was considered an automatic quit. I couldn't go back I had somewhere to be so I told them I guess it's an automatic quit. Said thank you and hung up.
In retro spect now that I know where it happened I am to blame for not giving a clear answer. Had I known I was unclear I would have clarified things with the asst. dept. head before I left. I was ecstatic when I quit. For the first time I felt truly free to pursue a future I would be happy with. I would be able to do so without worrying about seizures.
